I never meant to start a war

Hi.

Finally, the killer and torturous 2 paper in a days are over! And it sucha a huge relive and a weight off my shoulders. I was doing last minute revision for every paper. If MYE was O'level, I would have killed myself. So lesson learnt, start preparation early. O'level Malay is coming in less than 3 weeks. GOSH. This is it. The paper. I really don't want to do redo the paper in October/November. I would like to have that 6 periods spent on other subjects from July onwards. Insyallah. An A2, at least.

School's been a hell. After MYE, its mock exam everyday. So this is life as a Secondary 4 student. Till now, I'm still fickle minded where to head to after Sec 4. I've got no course in mind neither JC. The way Ayu told me about JC life really sucks and scare me off. Aiyah, if worst come to worst, either MI or ITE la. hah.

I'm just a girl. You don't have to worry about me. You go ahead and take the next girl dying for your attention. Why do everytime I get close with somebody that somebody just have to leave? why do my heart is so kind to give up my friendship just for the sake of other people's happiness? why do I want to get hurt and cry to myself to bed while the other party is having fun? why do people always have to be jealous? it sucks please. I always have to been the one who gives up what I have. I always have to give in. this is so wrong. I can't go on. I feel that I can't make my own stand. I have the rights and feelings too. Perhaps, i gave in because I just don't want to be a self-centred and stuck up bitch. I don't want to hurt other people. well, now, I just have to pray for my friends' happiness with whoever they're with. I know my attitude is fvck up, you don't have to say.