Firstly, I don't know if i should be happy or sad that you're not disturbing me because we're treating each like total strangers. I don't know if you're lying when you said you've totally moved on from me. Well, what not. you're such a playboy. I know a lot had happened between us but it just hurts and tears my heart apart to see that you never changed after what had happened. You still want to play with people's heart uh? alright, go ahead cos its your life and not mine. I just wish you all the best in your life and the your next girl victim. I know that you're mixing with new group of friends to move on but don't forget your old friends, dude.
Is it wrong to mix with his fellow boy buddies just for a game of monopoly deal? My intention was not to make anyone jealous or anything but just to play MD. & tell me which part of it seems wrong? What happened to you, girl? Why are you siding him than me? why am I being put to blame? I know he is closer to you now but I'm still the same me. I didn't changed. Girl, do know my intentions first before judging please. damn, you're like one of my best girlfriends but you seem like you're on his side. how am i supposed to feel? sigh.
Doesn't it hurt to know that people who were once after you already moved on because they know they can't get you and you're just being so 'hard-to-get'? maybe not a lot but your heart does break a little inside, doesn't it? well jyeah, I DO. Everyone is already moving on with their life. When am I gonna do so? when will I start to wake up and realise that I wasted my time waiting for nothing? if you asked me when, I'll answer it was 3 days ago.
I realised I've really wasted my time and efforts for you. Masyallah. If only I can rewind the time, I would not have wait but deep inside me, there's a voice keep saying, "stay strong and hold on". I tried to cheer myself up by repeating that in my head. I would always pray and cry after my prayers just for you. I told God to give me strength to keep waiting and maybe one day, you're heart might open up for me. I know God heard my prayers but for now, it just became so clear and direct hit in my face, that maybe you're not for me and that I've gotta move on. It hurts very badly that you treat someone very special but they just treated you like a piece of toy; use you when they need you and push you aside when they have somebody else. Frankly, I feel like a stupid girl now cos, I've rejected all the other guys just because of you. Oh well, things have happened but I've just gotta move on and learnt my lessons. I should not have listen to the voice in my head to keep holding on. It was a big mistake. For now, let just say, let time heals this broken heart.
I shall keep this quote close to my heart:
Oh, I've deactivated my Twitter account. Anyway, I doubt anyone noticed it. Let's just give Twitter a rest for the mean time cos that's where my problems starts. Its for my betterment. Maybe I'll create new account after some time.
ok, that was a long post.
bye. Cao.
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